"10 Books Children Should Read"

Last month this article appeared, “10 Books Children Should Read.” The author briefly encourages parents to give some leeway in books their children read while also providing direction. Then she recommends ten books.

I agree with the general advice she gives on parental involvement. We need not allow only classics to our children, but we definitely must shepherd them in the choice of books. What you read shapes your thinking which shapes your living, so parents ought to guide their children in reading wholesome and helpful things.

Her list of ten books is interesting. We haven’t read all of them, but she lists some we have appreciated, including Little Britches and Tale of Desperaux. We have read Gordon Macdonald’s At the Back of the Northwind, which she lists, but didn't enjoy it as much. We much preferred The Princess and the Goblin.

I pass on this article and her list, not because I can recommend all the boos myself but because I found it useful in finding recommendations from someone else.

Calvin on Parents’ Duty to Teach their Children

From John Calvin’s sermon on 1 Timothy 5:7-12, here is a great quote on the important parental duty of teaching God’s truth to our children:

When God has given a man children, it is not only that he should have charge to give them bread to eat, but good instruction is the main thing. And this is what we should bestow most pains in. But we see nowadays the exact opposite. It is true that fathers still have some care to bring up their children, but not all. For how many drunkards do we see, who will go and spend in one day at the tavern all that they have gotten in half the week, who waste and devour everything? And their poor children must die for hunger in the meantime. ... But yet the most part take care to nourish their children, but where is instruction? …few men think upon it, to dedicate their children to God, to see that they live well, and that God is honored by them, and that they serve their neighbors. How many are there who see to this? It is true that they will seek fast enough to advance their children, to bring them to credit, to make them rich. But they always lack the most important thing, and the cart is set before the horse.

Bunyan on the Disobedient Child

Andy Naselli recently posted this poem by John Bunyan which I appreciated and thought appropriate for this blog. I hope you appreciate it as well.

Upon the Disobedient Child [pp. 761–62]

Children become, while little, our delights!
When they grow bigger, they begin to fright’s.
Their sinful nature prompts them to rebel,
And to delight in paths that lead to hell.
Their parents’ love and care they overlook,
As if relation had them quite forsook.
They take the counsels of the wanton’s, rather
Than the most grave instructions of a father.
They reckon parents ought to do for them,
Though they the fifth commandment do contemn;
They snap and snarl if parents them control,
Though but in things most hurtful to the soul.
They reckon they are masters, and that we
Who parents are, should to them subject be!
If parents fain would have a hand in choosing,
The children have a heart will in refusing.
They’ll by wrong doings, under parents gather,
And say it is no sin to rob a father.
They’ll jostle parents out of place and power,
They’ll make themselves the head, and them devour.
How many children, by becoming head,
Have brought their parents to a piece of bread!
Thus they who, at the first, were parents joy,
Turn that to bitterness, themselves destroy.
But, wretched child, how canst thou thus requite
Thy aged parents, for that great delight
They took in thee, when thou, as helpless, lay
In their indulgent bosoms day by day?
Thy mother, long before she brought thee forth,
Took care thou shouldst want neither food nor cloth.
Thy father glad was at his very heart,
Had he to thee a portion to impart.
Comfort they promised themselves in thee,
But thou, it seems, to them a grief wilt be.
How oft, how willingly brake they their sleep,
If thou, their bantling, didst but winch or weep.
Their love to thee was such they could have giv’n,
That thou mightst live, almost their part of heav’n.
But now, behold how they rewarded are!
For their indulgent love and tender care;
All is forgot, this love he doth despise.
They brought this bird up to pick out their eyes.

- John Bunyan. “A Book for Boys and Girls: or, Temporal Things Spiritualized.” Pages 746–62 in vol. 3 of The Works of John Bunyan. Edited by George Offor. 3 vols. London: Blackie and Son, 1853.

Teddy Roosevelt on Reading to His Boys

In a letter to one son, Teddy Roosevelt mentions that while his wife is away he is doing the nightly reading to the younger boys. His description of their time together is a good encouragement to us today to read our children.

“Each night I spend about three-quarters of an hour reading to them. I first of all read some book like Algonquin Indian Tales, or the poetry of Scott or Macaulay. Once I read them Jim Bludsoe, which perfectly enthralled them and made Quentin ask me at least a hundred questions …. I have also been reading them each evening from the Bible. It has been the story of Saul, David and Jonathan. They have been so interested that several times I have had to read them more than one chapter. Then each says his prayers and repeats the hymn he is learning …. Each finally got one hymn perfect, whereupon in accordance with previous instructions from mother I presented each of them with a five-cent piece.”

Cited in The Letters and Lessons of Teddy Roosevelt for His Sons, ed. Doug Phillips

Hugging as Spiritual Warfare

Last week our denominational state paper ran an artilce of mine by this title. Here is the article:

I am a hugger and come from a line of established huggers. My dad was open with his affection to me and the rest of my family. He was practically an official ‘hugger’ at our church, and I can remember him kidding about that often. I also remember well working with another man in the church on our “Fix-It Squad,” doing household chores for our widows and shut-ins. He was clearly a ‘man’s man’ and was open with his affection and forthright on the value of hugging.

So, with that background it is no surprise that hugging my own children is so common to me that I almost do not notice it. I really never paused to reflect on why I hugged them. When I think of it I realize that primarily I hug them so often because I enjoy it so. I love my children and rejoice to demonstrate that. To give and receive these tangible expressions is for me a natural habit and a great joy.

Over the last year or so, however, I have reflected more on the value of this expression of affection to my children. This was prompted by pastoral work with people who are emotionally damaged. While talking with a dear brother who was struggling deeply with homosexuality, I was struck by his comment that he had never heard his father tell him that he loved him. Another man in the same situation related how he never remembered receiving affection from his father and had practically no positive memories of times with his father. People in other situations, wrestling with different problems, when baring their souls have often referred to the lack of affection in their families.

These negative experiences do not, of course, excuse sinful behavior. But these testimonies have reminded me of the value and importance of the hugs I give my children. One evening, in the midst of a time when I was walking with a church member through some dark days of struggle with homosexuality, I was holding my infant son, hugging him and preparing to lay him down to sleep. In that moment as I prayed for him, I realized afresh, that by hugging him I was investing in his soul. I was preparing him to face the onslaught of the enemy in days ahead. Spiritual warfare is often used to refer to glamorous or even odd things. But, in the truest since, I was at that moment waging war for my boy’s soul by investing in one more incident which is building up a general sense of belonging and strong, pure affection from his father. He will not remember that hug, but all these hugs will shape the general context of his early memories. I was, in however a small way, helping him to have a paradigm for a Father who loves him and also corrects him. In that moment I was making my corrective discipline more effective by reinforcing that it comes from a context of love.

This thought has encouraged and challenged me. It has sent me forth in greater diligence in loving my family. So, fathers, let us take up our ‘arms’, wrap them around our children and wage war for their souls by embracing them.

Horton on Home & Church

I just came across this quote posted by my friend Justin Wainscott. I thought it followed well my post on the importance of stories. We parents must orient our lives and families so as to show our children that God’s story is the central realities of our lives thus showing them the way to follow.

Christian
homes and churches are the only institutions in which our children will learn to find themselves in God's story. When they are united more by the trends of pop culture than by the faith and practice of the whole church in all times and places, our youth become victims of our sloth. We should not be surprised that over half of those reared in evangelical homes and churches today do not join or even attend a church regularly when they go off to college. If we are going to see our children grow up into Christ instead of abandoning the church, our
spiritual life at home and in the church must incorporate them into the teaching and fellowship of the apostolic faith. They can find "ministry opportunities" through United Way, the Peace Corps, or Habitat for Humanity. They can find friends at the fraternity or sorority. They can find intellectual stimulation in class. And they can find a sense of meaning and purpose in their vocations. If their home churches exchanged the ministry of preaching and teaching the apostles' doctrine for a variety of ministries and activities that they could find legitimate versions of in the world, then it is difficult to come up with a reasonable answer when they ask, "Why do I need the church?"

--Michael Horton, The Gospel-Driven Life: Being Good News People in a Bad News World

Richard Furman on Teaching Your Children

While working on a chapter on communion I came across a circular letter written by Richard Furman in 1806. Furman was one of the leading Baptist pastors of the time, serving as pastor of First Baptist Charleston, SC, the first president of the Triennial Convention, and first president of the South Carolina Baptist Convention. In this letter he had been asked to address area churches on the issue of communion. As he closed his letter, he moved from his main topic to give a closing exhortation on the parental duty to instruct your children. His words ae still pertinent today.
(Furman writes in the plural here because he writes as the representative of the pastors of the association)

Let us particularly urge attention to the state of your families, a duty which we fear is greatly neglected. The instruction of your children, and especially their religious instruction, is of the utmost importance to them and to yourselves; nor should your servants be forgotten; religious instruction should be given them with care, to bring them to an acquaintance with the holy scriptures, and the things which concern their eternal peace. That you may abound in every good word and work, and be enriched with all the blessings of grace and salvation, is the prayer of

Your affectionate Brethren in the Gospel

R. E. Lee as a Parent

I am currently reading to my boys a not so exciting book about Robert E. Lee. Lee is a great subject, but the style of this book is ponderous. One benefit though is the frequent extracts from Lee’s letters, particularly letters to his children.

This excerpt from a letter to his son in the army (before the war) is a great example of a parent’s proper longings for and expressions to a child. After giving some advice he writes:

“When I think of your youth, impulsiveness, and many temptations, your distance from me, and the ease (and even innocence) with which you might commence an erroneous course, my heart quails within me, and my whole frame and being trembles at the possible result. May Almighty God have you in His holy keeping. To His Merciful Providence I commit you, and will rely upon Him, and the Efficacy of the prayers that will be daily and hourly offered up by those who love you.”

Carson on a Spiritual Home

Over at my pastoral ministry blog I have commented a number of times on D. A. Carson’s book about his father, Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor. In the most recent Crossway book report Dr. Carson was interviewed about the book and I thought his comments were relevant to this blog. The main point of the book is chronicling his father’s simple, plodding faithfulness without fanfare or glamour. Talking about growing up in this home he stated:

“I’d be the first to insist that modeling Christian virtues, not least in the home, is of paramount importance. The worst sort of home to be brought up in is the one where spiritual pretensions are high and performance is low; the best sort of home is the one where spiritual pretensions are low and performance is high. That was the kind of home in which I was reared.”

May we provide such homes for our children.

GGG Blog Tour

I am pleased today to be hosting the Gum, Geckos & God blog tour here and at Oversight of Souls. I previously listed all the stops Jim Spiegel, the author, would be making on his blog tour.

This is an excellent book that I commend to all my readers, particularly those with children or grandchildren. It is essentially a collection of conversations the author and his wife have had with their children about the faith. Typically then Jim reflects a bit on the topic that was discussed for the reader. I was particularly encouraged by the model of living out Deuteronomy 6, particularly verses 6 & 7:

These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

This book shows good examples of parents simply paying attention to their children and making the most of opportunities to talk about God. You don’t have to have a theology degree to do this. You simply have to be intentional and engage your kids.

Another key thing I noticed in the book is how often the children themselves raise questions about the faith. When your children ask questions you have the greatest opportunity to teach them because their interest is already piqued. So I asked Jim:

What have you and your wife done to create a setting in your home such that your kids naturally ask about and speak of things concerning God? Of course kids ask questions, but what leads to them so naturally asking about God? God seems to be a natural part of life, and while any Christian parent would hope for this I find many who wonder how this can be accomplished.

Jim answered:

Our kids' readiness to ask questions about God traces back to a number of factors. Some of these are not extraordinary, such as our consistent involvement with our church and our teaching them the Bible. But we are also intentional about pointing out biblical lessons which play out in our daily lives as a family. We constantly come back to the Golden Rule, particularly when the kids are fighting or behaving selfishly with one another. I can't count how many times we've said to them, "Now how would you feel if s/he did that to you?" This is such a powerful question because it forces them to apply the Golden Rule. Although sometimes it feels like this doesn't get through to them, over time the impact is evident.

Also, as is clear in Gum, Geckos, and God, my wife and I constantly draw biblical lessons from nature, whether its observations about insects, gardening, or family pets. We also weave theology into our conversations about popular culture, from Star Wars to baseball. The more we do this, the more naturally kids will do this themselves. Our hope and prayer is that this will develop in them a fully integrated faith, where they consciously apply their Christian worldview to literally everything they experience.

These are all positive things that we do to theologically fertilize our kids' minds. But one significant choice we have made is a particular kind of abstinence: the elimination of TV programs from our home. We do have a television, but it doesn't pick up any channels. So our kids can only watch DVDs and videos which we have screened beforehand, and their time doing this is quite limited. TV is not a default entertainment in our home, nor does it function as an electronic babysitter. Consequently, our children spend more time than most kids reading, doing crafts, and playing outside, so they become more active thinkers. This has the added benefit of preventing them from being exposed to thousands of commercials which are so powerful in conditioning young minds to have a consumer mentality. So for our family, the elimination of TV has been the ultimate case of addition by subtraction. I highly recommend that parents give it a try. Yes, it's difficult (at first), but the benefits are amazing. And not just for the children. Your marriage will benefit as well!

Gum, Geckos, and God

I am happy to be participating in a blog tour by Jim Spiegel promoting his new book Gum, Geckos, and God. Jim teaches philosophy at Taylor University and is the father of four children. This book is a record of various conversations that have come up between him and his children as they have talked about God and the Christian life in informal settings. You can see more about the tour at Zondervan’s site.
This is the tour schedule:

July 21- Spunky Homeschool
July 22- Beauty from the Heart
July 23- At a Hen’s Pace
July 24- A Holy Experience
July 25- Family Voice
July 28- Ted Wins
July 29- In a Mirror Dimly
July 30- Oversight of Souls & The Children’s Hour
July 31- Christians in Context
August 1- The A-Team Blog
August 4- Embarking
August 5- Challies.com

On its day, each blog will post a question about the book and Jim’s answer. Readers can then ask further questions in the comments section. As you can see I will host the tour on my pastoral ministry blog as well.

I am excited about this book and have really enjoyed reading it. I hope you will stop by for the tour and check out the stops at the other blogs as well.

More Quotes from Hints for Parents

Here are just a few more quotes from the great little book Hints for Parents. From these you can see the theological awareness and pastoral earnestness of the book.

“To the religious character of our children, everything else ought to be made subservient. Our high privilege is to ‘bring up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.’ Whatever others may say or do, Christian parents should choose for their children that ‘good part which shall not be taken from them.’ To them, everything else should be like dust.” 27

“Now, you must recognize a mournful fact: Your child is depraved. You will fail utterly to educate him if you don’t recognize this sad reality.” 35

“What a man ought to know, he ought to begin to know very early. The great moral principles, which enlighten his adult conscience and character, ought to penetrate and work on his dark mind in childhood.” 35

“Depraved humans have sacrificed their children to false gods, burning them on the white hot hands of Moloch. Would you do ten thousand times worse by neglecting the heart of your child?” 57

“[quote from Tedd Tripp] Nothing will provide your children with an understanding of the power of the gospel like your love and dependence on God.” 57

Great Little Book for Parents!

Hints for Parents, by Gardiner Spring
With Gospel Encouragements by Tedd Tripp
(Shepherd Press, 2004), hb., 80 pp.

This is a great little book for all parents. Spring was a 19th century Presbyterian pastor who was highly regarded. His comments to parents have been edited (language updated) and Tedd Tripp has inserted comments and encouragements along the way. Much can and needs to be said about parenting, but this little book distills much of the pure gold about the general goals and procedures of raising children to know and love God. A brief piece by Archibald Alexander on teaching children using catechisms is also appended. I would encourage all parents to get this book.

Here are a few quotes to catch the flavor of the book:

“Many a child has been lost to himself, to his family, to the world, and to God, because he had little else to do but indulge himself.” 15

“If a child cannot be temperate, there is little hope that he will be holy or respectable as an adult.” 17

“A child’s mind is the door to his heart, and our children must think, feel, and consider clearly, before they will repent, pray, and love.” 17

“[quote from Tedd Tripp] Do whatever you must to give yourself to relationships that make home and family attractive to your children.’” 19

“This means that parents may need to deny themselves some creature comforts. Is this unthinkable in our current affluence? If by a few sacrifices you could purchase for your children the habit of loving their home, is any price too high? Those families are best educated, and exhibit the most moral feeling, which are most tenderly attached to home. Soon enough, our children will be extending their borders beyond it.” 19-20

I’ll post a few more quotes in another post.

William WIlberforce, Children

At my blog on Pastoral ministry I have reviewed a great book on missions and am in the midst of posting some quotes from it. One quote fits particularly well here.
It comes from William Wilberforce, known for his crusade against slavery. In the midst of his busy life, he still could say:
“. . .the spiritual interests of my children is my first priority.”

John Angell James on Parental Duty

The conference went well last week and it was pleasure to meet the people who came to my session on Bible material for children. I will post my complete handout on my Union page soon (it is too long to post in it’s entirety here). In the meantime I will post portions from it in a series of posts.
Here is a great quote from John Angell James on the responsibility of parents to teach their children the Scriptures. It comes from his book, The Christian Father's Present to His Children.

“It is a situation of tremendous responsibility to be a parent … With every babe that God entrusts to your care, he in effect sends the solemn injunction- ‘Take this child, and bring it up for me;’ and at the final audit, will inquire in what manner you have obeyed the command. It will not then be sufficient to plead the strength of your affection, nor the ceaseless efforts to which it gave rise; for if these efforts were not directed at the right end … you will receive the rebuke of Him that sitteth upon the throne.”